Talking dirty can feel weirdly intimidating even when you’ve been to bed with women for years — there’s a little voice that whispers “what if I sound ridiculous?” Good news: that voice is lying, and dirty talk between women has a built-in advantage. You already know, from the inside, how these bodies work and what lands. Here’s how to find your filthy voice, by women, for women.
Start where it’s easy
You don’t have to open with a monologue. The lowest-stakes dirty talk is just narrating what’s true: “I’ve been thinking about this all day,” “you feel incredible,” “I love how wet you are.” Reporting your own experience out loud is honest, it’s hot, and it doesn’t require inventing anything. Build from there.
Find your flavor
Dirty talk isn’t one voice — it’s whichever one fits the night. A few to try on:
- Taking charge. “Don’t you dare come until I say so.” “Open your legs. Good girl.” “You’ll get to finish when you’ve earned it.”
- Handing it over. “Tell me what you want and I’m yours.” “I’ll do anything, just don’t stop.” “Please — can I?”
- Sweet and filthy. “I could do this to you for hours.” “You’re so pretty when you’re desperate.” “Come here and let me ruin you.”
- The tease. “I’m going to get you right to the edge… and then I’m going to stop.” “Not yet.” “Ask me nicely.”
You can top from your mouth even when your hands are being gentle — and you can beg beautifully while you’re the one technically in control. Words let you play a role your body isn’t.
Use what you know
This is the part that’s uniquely yours. You know exactly how maddening a too-light touch is, how good it feels to be told to wait, how a certain word at a certain moment can tip someone over. So say the things you’d want said to you. Describe what you’re about to do before you do it and make her wait for it. Tell her how she sounds right before she loses it — because you know that sound, and you know what hearing about it does.
Talk during, not just before
Keep a running commentary going while you’re actually together. A steady stream of “just like that,” “don’t you dare,” “good girl,” “not until I say” does double duty: it’s incredibly hot, and it doubles as a real-time check-in. When she gasps “yes” back, that’s consent and encouragement rolled into one. Praise especially is rocket fuel — tell her when she’s doing well and she’ll work twice as hard to keep hearing it.
If you freeze up
Everyone does at first. Practice by text, where you’ve got time to think — it’s a lower bar and it warms you up for saying things out loud later. Start soft and escalate as you feel the other person lean in. And if something comes out clumsy and you both laugh? Perfect. Laughter and heat aren’t opposites, and a little giggle mid-tease just means you’re relaxed enough to be having fun.
Want a running start? Steal from our dirty text examples, and our guide to dirty talking during sex has more for when you’re in the moment.
18+ only. Everything here assumes enthusiastic, informed consent between adults. If it isn’t a clear yes from everyone involved, it’s a no.